This time last year I announced that I was working on the second book in the series. The book was to be called Reflections on water, and I was aiming to find a publisher. Little did I know what the year had in store for me.

View over a fjord with water taking up about half of the picture and a blue sky with a few puffy white clouds taking up the upper half of the picture. There is land on the horizon with a dip in the middle where the fjord goes.

Breathe in deeply, by Eleanor Smith

Thrown off course and finding a new angle

I had a serious accident and was hospitalised for two and a half weeks. I underwent three operations and was then on sick leave for the whole summer. And this year kicked off with a rejection from the publisher I had submitted my manuscript to in September.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because it has changed the concept of my creative project. Several poems were written while I was in hospital and in the first weeks of my rehabilitation.

Originally, the book was supposed to show water through all its stages, but this changed when I was suddenly thrown off course. A serious accident has a deep impact on your life, on the outside in terms of what your body and your life look like. And on the inside, as you grapple with the horror of what happened and work through your trauma.

I had to adapt to a new and unexpected everyday life coloured by pain and anxiety. My project became a driving force for me in an incredibly difficult time. I chose to let the project change with me.

Like my life, the project had changed, and I could not continue as planned. I wasn’t willing to ignore what had happened to me or hide it. A creative project should honestly reflect the nature of the artist, in my opinion.

Close up picture of ice on a rock with many colours from the underlying rock and shapes from the ice. The ice looks like the face of a swan with an eye looking downwards.

Swan with colour, by Eleanor Smith

The meaning behind the new title

Sometimes the water hides things from us, just to reveal its secrets when we are ready to hear them. The book is now about water as an element of both change and healing. It is my wish that it will inspire others to find both joy and strength where one would rather not have to.

Current concept

Here are the chapters in the current draft:

  1. Introduction: Photography
  2. Quiet waters
  3. Rough waters: The speed of change
  4. When time stops still
  5. Underwater fantasies
  6. Dark waters
  7. Going with the flow: Healing

Having received some critical feedback from the publisher, I am going to use that to improve my draft. I still intend for the book to have poems in both English and Norwegian, as I see this as a reflection of my continued assimilation to Norway and the plasticity of my mind as I absorb my new culture. Also, it will make my book project accessible to my local friends, whose input I would cherish.

Next some extracts, one in English and two in Norwegian.

Extract 1: Take off

Black and white picture taken where land meets the sea. Rocky surface that looks like a runway and behind it the sea on the horizon.

Take off, by Eleanor Smith

Where I saw a rocky runway
Others see
Hope
A floating UFO or flying saucer
A close endlessness
Stillness
And even a brownie

In the plane of our joint imagination
We set course
For the unknown
Our heads full of dreams
And our hearts in our throats

If it’s the world’s end
That we see
Defined in black and white
Lines and shadows exposed

Is it time to turn back
And return to the safety of what we know
Or is this the realisation
That it was but a fake safety
Perhaps it had been all along
And now we have grown tired of it

Now we see things for what they are
And that instead
It is time to forgo the past
And set sail for a new future

One filled with hope
And confidence
Not just in ourselves
And all that we have become
But also in those that we hold close
Those who will be there with us

Extract 2: Stjernetåke (nebula)

Underwater plants growing up like spirals from the seabed.

Nebula, by Eleanor Smith

Undervannståker
Svaiende forsiktig
Fra vannets bunn
Der de venter
Tålmodige
Som skyer av gass og støv
I verdensrommet

Extract 3: Uro (turmoil)

Rough, shoppy waters. Dark blue water and lighter blue water where a boat has passed and cut through the water,

Turmoil, by Eleanor Smith

Noen bilder gir mening
Bare i etterkant
Noen ganger tar det flere år
Der og da la jeg merke til
Endringer i farger og atferden
Til vannet
Ute på fjorden
Det betydde ikke noe spesielt
Det var bare fint å se kontrasten
Mellom den vanlige overflaten
Og vannet som hadde
Blitt forstyrret av en båt

Nå 5 år senere
Når jeg ser på samme bildet
Oppdager jeg plutselig
At det har fått en betydning

Jeg har nettopp
Opplevd en stor endring
I mitt liv
Jeg ble tatt ut av mitt vanlige liv
Offer til en alvorlig ulykke
En voldshendelse
Gjør noe med deg
Plutselig er du endret
I kroppen og i sjelen

Som det vannet her
Noe har skjedd med deg
Som gjør at du skiller deg ut
Fra omgivelsene dine
Og fra den du var før

Store hendelser
Gjør noe med oss
Vi blir nødt til å håndtere
Redsel
Stress
Ukjente omgivelser

Og å møte seg selv
På sitt svakeste
Bli med seg selv gjennom det hele
Uansett det ubehaget
Man slipper ikke unna

Alt du er redd for
Er plutselig i hverdagen din
Det må du leve med
Må finne en måte å akseptere det

Du kommer ikke ut det samme
Det du har opplevd
Har endret deg
Du har fått et nytt perspektiv
På livet
Hold på det

Express interest

If you read this and feel inspired to contribute to the project in any way, please do get in touch (eleanor(at)eleanorsmith.no). I would be grateful for reviewers, editors and anyone with a sharp eye.

Man sitting in a chair, with his back to us, seemingly engaged in a discussion.

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash