It’s now early June and time for the second story in my “Reflections in images” series. As a volunteer in mental health, the topic is ever present in my life, not just during Mental Health Awareness Month.

Last time I invited you to reflect on how you felt about “going back to normal”, after the COVID-19 pandemic. I was thinking of home office arrangements and potentially the effects of having caught the famous virus. This is a big question. And the answer is deeply personal.

I have chosen some pictures from the last few months to illustrate my own personal journey. The hope is that they will invite you to reflect on your own experience and what it has helped you to understand.

Running reflections, by Eleanor Smith

“All (good) things come in threes”

The figure of speech “all good things come in threes” did not seem to apply to my month of March 2022. Yet, life must have been trying to teach me something. Maybe what does not at first appear to be a good thing will teach you something invaluable?

For the last year, I have put a lot of effort into developing good habits for preventing exhaustion. I meditate, take (somewhat) regular breaks, eat consciously, get fresh air and exercise every day. I was playing the piano for 10–15 minutes a day as well when I worked from home.

I started 2022 looking for more rest and space to think. After thriving with home office, for me the next level, was to make my own, conscious change. Choose where to focus my time and energy. And learn what to stop doing.

Then, three months into the year, life threw me a curveball. Three major changes impacted my health: goodbye home office, hello COVID-19, goodbye trainee.

These caused much short-term annoyance and dissatisfaction, but they are also opportunities for deeper reflection.

Catching COVID-19

Balcony reflections, by Eleanor Smith

This shot was taken from my little home office balcony one afternoon in March. I like how it captures the stillness of my period of illness.

Going back full-time to the office just after moving into the new house took its toll on me. I was exhausted, all the time. Unsurprisingly I caught COVID-19 within two weeks. Stress and exhaustion are invitations to illness. COVID-19 hit me like a train, and I was out of sorts for weeks. So how did it happen?

I came home one evening with a headache after a particularly exasperating meeting. I decided that I needed to get out, a familiar choice for me. A gentle walk turned into a run, as the frustration flowed through me and out into the cool evening.

After about half an hour, my brain switched mode. I started seeing things around me. My photographer’s eye opened and joy returned.

By the waterside, by Eleanor Smith

As life will sometimes have it, emotional and mental elation was followed by physical pain. It turned out that I had sprained my left calf muscle.

I started feeling unwell later that night and worked from home the following day. This time the COVID-19 test came out positive, twice.

The timing was great. I was having a stressful time at my workplace. The trainee who had been supporting me saw her contract come to an end the same week I fell ill. I also had two big client jobs for my business.

I had not been ill in over two years. Now I was knocked out. I had a fever, headache, runny nose, dry cough, trouble breathing, and above all I was completely exhausted. Thankfully I may add, I did not lose my sense of smell or taste.

The worst and best part

What was the worst and best part of catching COVID-19?

It is not always easy to see or appreciate, but there is a positive side to even our calamities.

Let’s start with the easy answer first. The worst part was undoubtedly the exhaustion. I just slept and slept and slept. And no matter how much I slept, I was shattered the next day. I got a week off work. I did have one big client job to do with a tight deadline, so I channelled all my energy into that, giving it my full focus.

Time to think, by Eleanor Smith

Another shot from my home office. I like the quiet and peace it reminds me of.

Some days were better than others: five hours of focused work one day and two or three hours the next. I managed to meet my deadline and my client was happy.

My energy levels were the lowest they have ever been. This exhaustion hung onto me for weeks. And a persisting cough.

And the best? Was there anything good with this experience? What did I learn?

The best part was that I learnt that focusing on just one task is good for me. Good for my mood and positivity. Despite being ill, I looked forward to my work. I was not overwhelmed by a never-ending to-do list and incessant e-mails.

I learnt that being at home is good for me. I knew that, but now it is our house. That was a new feeling. This is my home for the foreseeable future. By being ill, I got to spend downtime in my new home. It was good for my mental health.

I realise now that trust and flexibility are two values that I need to be a happy, well-functioning human being in the workplace.

Come back

I came back to the office determined to keep up the good organisational routines I had put in place with my trainee. Even if it was just me now, I needed the structure and planning we had been using. I learnt to be disciplined in a new way.

I talked with colleagues in IT and explained what I needed. I played with online tools and set up my own workflow, visualised as an online board. I discovered SCRUM Boards last year, which I use for my business. I wanted something that I could adapt to the office and to team work. I wanted a way to visualise my workflow and make it easy for my manager to follow.

I continue to discover my inner resources. Being pushed to the brink of what you can handle forces you to change. It forces you to get better. I am more confident in my work than I can remember being.

Getting out

It was not just about coming back to the office and to my workload. April and May saw me come back to life and to my outside of work activities. These are the activities that bring me joy and do me good.

I do need high-intensity exercise. This clears my mind, helps me stay in the present, and keeps me happy. I therefore spend a lot of time hiking, climbing, and horse riding.

Here is some evidence of that.

Very much alive, by Eleanor Smith

The view from here is breath-taking. The path descends steeply and the opens up. From there I can ride over to the other mountain, which leads to one my all-time favourite places to ride.

I also need a community that I belong to. I go indoor rock climbing (and bouldering) with the Red Cross as a volunteer every week. I make time for hiking with my Norwegian friends and for being at the farm and with horses.

Finally, time for a reflective shot.

In brief contemplation, by Eleanor Smith

Captured in a brief moment of stillness between the restlessness of two racehorses. The view is south towards Os, a stone’s throw from my new house.

The road ahead for me must be to find a healthier balance. Less work stress and more joy and rest.

These two beautiful thoroughbred racehorses, one mare (below) and one gelding (above), bring joy to my life. The time I spend with them in nature is precious to me. They are honest, they are in the here and now. They are alert, alive, and time with them leaves me at peace.

Always look on the bright side (of life), by Eleanor Smith

What’s next?

I will be sharing pictures from my weekly hikes on Flickr and I have an upcoming alpine climbing course to look forward to at the end of the month. I will spend a week in Norway’s Jotunheimen mountain range and national park.

I can’t wait for it. I will be going for long hikes high up in the mountains and practising how to climb unbolted routes. I will even get to walk across a glacier and learn how to rescue someone trapped in the ice.

If you want to see more of my pictures, you can visit my Flickr account.

Read my previous article on Mental Health Awareness Month – Reflections in images (Part 1).